Dear Advice Angel,
This is so hard for me to explain so I will just start at the beginning. When I was 13 i wanted to be grown so badly. I acted out towards my parents, I cut up in school, and I dated much older guys. I was so popular and all the guys wanted me. The oldest guy I dated was 19. And he was so fine. I lost my virginity to him after only 3 months of dating and he quickly kicked me to the curb. About 6 months later i found out that I was HIV positive. I tried talking to him but he denied that it was from him cause he was clean. He tarnished my name and told the entire school that I was easy. I ended up having to move. I told my parents that I was raped because i didnt want them to know their daughter was a slut. After 5 years of punishing myself i finally met someone great. I love him and things are getting serious. I know he is going to bring up sex soon and Im nervous. I dont know how to tell him and Im afraid to lose him. My health is under control because i take my medication as directed. Please help me because I dont know what to do.
Dear Worried Angel,
Wow, this is a tough subject. However, I will try to give you the best advice I can. First off, it takes a lot of courage to write in about this situation because HIV is still such a taboo subject. I applaud you for telling us here about your situation. So now, it's time for you to apply the same courage into telling your boyfriend. Tell him about your entire situation. And yes, that includes your sexual history. Not only is it fair for him to know, it is also the law to tell every potential sexual partner about your HIV status and how you are taking control of it. This doesn't mean that sex is out of the question. You just have to wrap it up and take extra precautions. Most importantly, it's about being truthful to yourself, to your boyfriend and to your family. Yes, I'm suggesting talking to your parents as well because if you don't, it's going to eat you up inside for the rest of your life. Just note that your boyfriend may not give you the reaction you want, but at least you give him the right for him to make that choice. Stay strong, my sista.